


Snapshots in Purgatory

by relucant



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M, One Shot, Purgatory, Short, lyric - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-07
Packaged: 2018-02-24 12:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2581517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/relucant/pseuds/relucant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Purgatory is hot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snapshots in Purgatory

**Author's Note:**

> apparently this is what happens when I can't sleep and am chain-watching Purgatory flashbacks at 3am. no idea.

Purgatory is hot.

It's hot, and it's wet, and it's stuck in a half-light, a neutral grey-filter through the trees.

Dean likes it, in an ugly way. He leans back, breathing hard with a bloodied blade, and he tilts his head against a tree. His only friend in this place is a monster and that feels right, somehow, since he lost his angel.

"All right, brother?" Benny says, and Dean can't help but laugh.

"Great."

Purgatory is hot and wet and grey, and as he makes his way between the trees, he feels like he belongs. He feels, for the first time in his brutal little life, pure.

This is why he flinches, when he finally sees the angel crouched at a riverbed, washing his face. Cas is still wearing his trenchcoat and Dean almost laughs, but he stops when Cas won't look at him.

Benny exhales, twirling his blade, but Dean just gives him a look. He takes a deep breath and makes his way through the mud and the filth.

He knows Cas hears him, the sickly squelch of his boots, but he stays squatting down at the river's edge. The water runs almost clean, trickling over the rocks and stones, and Cas doesn't look at him.

"Cas," he calls, stomping through the reeds. "Cas?"

Somewhere in the distance, something howls.

"Dean," Cas says, splashing water onto his face.

Dean reaches out for him instinctively but Cas stiffens.

"You have to go," he says slowly, and Dean draws back.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Benny drawls, without malice. Castiel's eyes flick to him, squinting, then back to Dean, then away.

"It will work," he says. "Go."

He turns, but Dean grabs his arm. 

"I prayed to you," he says. "Every night."

"I know." Cas wrenches his arm away and kneels back down, dragging his hands in the water of the creek. He holds up a rock, like he's looking for sunlight, something glinting and refractory off of the drops, then tosses it away.

"Cas."

" _Go_ , Dean," he snarls, standing up and backing away.

Dean's eyes go wide for a second, then tense, and then he walks away.

\--

Purgatory is hot. Purgatory is hot and wet and ugly, and it looks like a photograph. Dean is almost happy here.

He and Benny settle into something comfortable. He misses Sam, of course, when he lets himself think about it. He doesn't let himself think about it.

Castiel is faded in Dean's memory, his trench coat a black and white outline. Dean cuts the head off of another monster and he says he doesn't remember. He goes to the lake, though. He picks up rocks, holds them up the moonlight, watches the way it scatters over the riverbed and pools in the shallows.

"We'll find him, brother," Benny says. Dean glances up for a second, then turns and walks away.

\--

Purgatory is hot and wet and ugly. Benny tells him about his wife, in a low voice, and Dean realizes, with a jolt, that he trusts Benny. He wonders if Castiel was a dream; he wonders if he is insane. Benny watches him with something like pity.

"Don't know if he can even come back with us," he says.

"Not goin' without him," Dean snaps, not looking back.

\--

They find him again, crouched on the riverbed. He still doesn't turn around.

"I still hear you," he murmurs, pushing his knife into the mud. "I can't keep them away."

Dean growls, deep in his throat, and Cas' eyes finally flicker to him.

"Not leavin' here without you, Cas," he says with finality, and the angel tilts his head. Benny stays quiet, one hand on his knife.

"Everything here is after me," Cas says. He sinks his hand into the stream, focusing on the water reflecting off of his thumb. "I can't keep them away from you much longer."

Benny still stays quiet. His eyes dart between the trees, and he twirls his knife absently.

"S'why we're gettin' you out," Dean says, hoarse. Cas' eyes are blank when he looks up, but Dean glares back, and Cas looks away.

\--

Purgatory is hot and wet and ugly, and Dean and Cas are sitting on the edge of the lake. Benny's disappeared for the moment, ducking back to camp.

"I can't come with you," Cas says, softly, looking at the water. "I have penance."

Dean turns to him, his face in a rictus of self-control.

"Penance?"

"For the things that I've done."

Dean stares at him, at the angel who raised him from Hell, who took on the visions of Lucifer to save his brother from insanity.

"Cas," he says again. "Not goin' without you."

\--

Purgatory is hot and wet; it's dirty and ugly. It's black and white, like a photograph, and Dean feels like he's been here before.

The portal crackles blue-white behind him. Cas' fingers slide slippery through his, but this time he lunges down, he locks his hand around the angel's wrist.

\--

The forest is cool and green. Dean stands up alone, shaking his head. He looks around, and the bile rises in his throat. Choking it down, he cuts a long, neat incision in his forearm, and then Benny blinks at him.

"I owe you, brother," he says, a smile spreading across his face, but it stops at Dean's empty expression. "He --?"

Dean stays silent, and Benny stays silent. The trees sway soft and perfect, and Dean finds himself missing the ugly heat. He misses the purity and the way he belonged.

Benny sighs and Dean looks at the ground.

"Brother," Benny begins, but before he can continue, the sound of dirty wet feathers swishes under the trees.


End file.
